Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile soil.

The first seed said, “I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, and thrust my sprouts through the earth’s crust above me … I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners to announce the arrival of spring … I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!”

And so she grew…

The second seed said, “Hmmmm. If I send my roots into the ground below, I don’t know what I will encounter in the dark. If I push my way through the hard soil above me I may damage my delicate sprouts … what if I let my buds open and a snail tries to eat them? And if I were to open my blossoms, a small child may pull me from the ground. No, it is much better for me to wait until it is safe.”

And so she waited…

A yard hen scratching around in the early spring ground for food found the waiting seed and promptly ate it

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve read about the other days too.

 

I don’t know if you’re already planning to book on one of Sugar’s trainings, maybe you already have and wanted to know about the experience, so what you’re reading has specific resonance for you.  Maybe you were just happily trawling the net, and stumbled across my tale, and something or other in the words jumped out at you and you kept on reading. I’m glad you stayed this far, however you found it. Anyhow, thinking about that got me wondering if you might be curious about my motivation for writing this blog – maybe I was primed, bribed or influenced in some way to write a few kind words about Sugar and how much I’d enjoyed the training – maybe a touch of the old Kirkpatrick method of evaluation to say that I’d enjoyed each day, learned a thing or two, maybe even transferred my learning to the workplace and was exhibiting new behaviours as a result of the training. Job done = training has added value.

 

So when invited by Ben and Neal to share my experience and to say whatever I liked, it seemed like a straightforward enough task – wouldn’t you think?

 

Actually, had the training been ‘ok’ or ‘alright’ or even ‘quite good’, I would probably have been less careful about what I wrote – perhaps a 60% effort job, squeezed in before Eastenders starts.  A twenty minute job whilst my freshly home baked muffins are cooking, (doesn’t everyone bake their own?), bullet pointing a few key words on the train maybe, on the back of some agenda or other that I know I’ll lose amongst all my other papers when I come to search for it later.

 

Richard Bandler says that  NLP is

 

“an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.”

 

You’ll be wanting to experience the attitude and methodology for yourself, I’m sure. Can I tell more about the  trail of techniques? Could I choose my favourite even?

 

Nope– it’d be like your mum telling you there’s only room  for one of your favourite toys  on the car journey to go on holiday – how to choose?  Did I love Sindy or Pippa more? Could I live without ‘Bear’ for a week? Would my dolls house really not fit in the boot alongside our suitcases and the tent? Do I prefer anchoring or belief changing? Clearing out emotional ‘stuff’ with timelines or working with submodalities? How will I ever be able to stop understanding people better by asking the right questions when they use vague language again?

 

Instead though, I find myself compelled to let you know just what I think about Sugar’s tagline.

 

What’s a tagline for anyway? Why bother having one? What’s the point?

 It’s kind of branding slogan, something memorable that will conjure up the essence of the idea, or product. There are certainly some that are memorable – think:

 

Be afraid. Be very afraid (The Fly) or

 

To boldly go where no man has gone before (Star Trek) or even

 

Inspiring NLP training (Sugar NLP)  

 

So – did they choose a worthy tagline? Does ‘inspiring NLP training’ conjure up the essence of what Sugar’s all about, now that I’ve been through Practitioner training with them?

 

Picture the scene on the last day of the course.

 

We’d got through the eleven days – sharing laughter (a lot of laughter – think those laughs you get sometimes when they’re like running down a hill and you miss your footing in the last part of the laugh and go ‘freefall’ – have you ever laughed like that?).

 

Arrows had been broken, metaphorically as well as physically.

 

Friendships had been forged.

 

Midget gems had been consumed.

 

Inner ‘stuff’ had been shared,  glimpses of our true selves revealed (think of  the way nature ‘lifts her skirt’ sometimes to let you see the magnificent view when you’ve hiked to the top of Blencathra and there’s a break in the cloud).

 

Yes, we’d learned techniques to add to Bandler’s ‘trail’ – on this module we’d explored strategies – only really useful if you’d like to be able to influence, motivate or sell to others - we’d discovered how we represent and store time - we’d coached and been coached -  we’d learned how to get ourselves into an invincible state prior to the arrow break.

 

I took a step back – I could hear the Friends theme song ‘I’ll be there for you’ filling the room – every piece of music carefully chosen to enhance our learning experience – don’t think we didn’t notice - and watched people hugging, swapping numbers, consolidating the brief yet intense time we’d spent together. I felt a little sad that this part of the story was over I felt curious and excited about what was yet to come.

 

And I thought to myself….

 

“yup (slow, deliberate head nod) …… I reckon they got it exactly right”.

Congratulations to everyone who attended the May/June 2008 Practitioner training for 11 days of learning, laughter and new skills.

  

The second module had us learning about change techniques whilst remembering that ‘everything up til now still counts’ and wondering about how our unconscious minds must have been paying attention because plenty of the language patterns and rapport skills learned in days one to four were ‘just happening’, and it felt even easier this time round to work with my course mates -  I was far less conscious about ‘getting things wrong’ and instead more curious about what results I might get.

 

Day five focused on change techniques, allowing us to identify where we might start when facing a challenge, and how to further gain rapport with others by understanding how they might experience the world through their senses. I always thought I was more kinaesthetic in my preference for how I experience the world - through submodalities I’ve learned that I can ‘get more pictures’ if I let them arise as a result of what I’m feeling. I was amazed that at lunchtime, following a belief change exercise, one of my  course mates ate a sandwich filled with mozzarella and tomato – having not been able to entertain any relationship with a tomato for years – quite remarkable. My own experience of belief change saw me totally unflustered about the forthcoming arrow-break on the final module, much laughter with my delightful course mate Kieran, who himself will be facing a Neal wearing a navy blue school uniform with a stretchy tie as he approaches his own arrow-break.  A fine image which I may even ‘borrow’ when the time for the arrow break arrives.

 

Some work regarding perceptual positions had us looking at situations from another’s point of view. Sounds innocent enough but another technique that proved very powerful when actually experienced. As of now I may even spare my husband every tiny girly detail about my shopping expeditions, “he said, then she said” conversations, nail varnish, handbags, hair and kitten thoughts (not that I have kitten thoughts, just stereotyping), which I hope he would agree would be an outstanding bonus, and worth being an NLP-widower over the past month. If you’re a girl, you’ll understand. Actually, if you’re a boy, you’ll probably understand too. But differently.

 

Day Six had us experience Ben’s storytelling – I won’t spoil the surprises in case you’re planning on doing the Practitioner training, but hearing the stories he shared, as well as thinking about our own stories, got me thinking again about how we adore stories as children, and whether we truly lose that wonder as we get older? The stories I’ve heard from my course mates this week have stayed with me all week – with key words or phrases haunting me when I least expect them, triggered by anything or nothing – I’m not really sure. That got me thinking about some of my favourite childhood tales and how well they could house metaphors – think Peter Pan’s never growing up and encouragement that “you can fly”, Pinocchio’s desire to be free of strings and joints and become a real boy, with Jiminy Cricket – “always let your conscience be your guide” and Monsters Inc.’s Sully (alright, some of my favourite adulthood tales too) who signified everything that the scary night time monster in the closet shouldn’t be –things aren’t always what they seem. If you’ve ever wished upon a star, maybe you’ll know what I mean.

 

I digress.  

 

Day Seven. Stories for entertainment and learning, metaphors for making meaning personal, phobias made not so phobic, new behaviour generators for, well, generating new, more resourceful behaviours. Possible in the world? Possible for me. It’s becoming  harder now to think of the days separately, all the learning feels part of the same overall experience.

 

A week later

 

My learning feels more subtle this module – that’s not to say that my previous excitement has gone away, more that it’s less a sprint now and more a gentle jog. It’s still the best training I’ve ever had. The environment is safe, encouraging, fun. The manual is brilliant – has everything you need to revisit topics or go through them at your own pace. My course mates are better than I could have hoped for and lots of fun. The water’s still lovely, just more comfortable now that I’m used to it rather than the invigoration which takes your breath away when you plunge straight in on a hot day.

 

If you’re reading this, you might be considering whether to sign up for one of Sugar’s trainings. You might know a little, or a lot about NLP already, dipping your toe into the water to see if you are brave enough to plunge right in. I did this for a few years before jumping in and booking onto the course.  You may have already read about how I got on with the CDs. Here’s how the first four days went for me…  

 

Day One

 

I was a bit nervous at first, but received a friendly welcome from Neal and Ben and found out from chatting to the others, that they’d come from a variety of backgrounds and locations, and most people were feeling a mixture of apprehension and excitement about the beginning of the training.  We were in safe hands, and an engaging introduction explained all about NLP and its roots. Right from the beginning I was captivated about this fascinating psychology and was already starting to wonder how I’ll  be able to use its tools and techniques in my life.

 

I don’t know whether or not this is something you’ll identify with, reader, but I tend to swing between extremes of absolute confidence in my strengths and worthiness on a great day, and being a bit wobbly and unsure of myself on a less than great day. Imagine learning that you can learn how to tap into the ‘great day’ confidence when you like – and not only that, that it’s ok to Be Who You Are – big news to me, that one.   

 

Looking back on day one seems a blur - meeting new friends, being a bit brave with inductive learning, finding out some things are easier than you thought when you have a go. I’ve been laughing, relaxed, energised, nervous, amazed and entertained, and have a suspicion this experience is going to do me a lot of good. After all, we can’t not change, can’t we?

 

Day Two

 

On the way to the course I found myself planning how to ‘pace and lead’ during a presentation I have to give next week, so already finding ways in which my new skills are going to be useful.

Language patterns today. I’d been looking forward to these and really enjoyed practising – although halfway through the day I started to feel ‘fuzzy’ and a bit overloaded with all the new stuff we’d learned. Neal had forewarned us about this happening – and that when it did it might be time to ‘let go of some stuff’ and trust our unconscious mind to embed the learning so we could get on with learning more! This was my second big learning, about letting go and allowing my unconscious mind to handle things now and again – it’s my new best friend!

 

I laughed a lot again today and enjoyed working with my fellow course mates. Had a few lightbulb moments too where I’ve learned about some of the beliefs I’ve been carrying about which aren’t helping me to be truly resourceful.  I might even be learning to love having curly hair (those of you with curls will understand the desire to be straight – if any of my course mates are reading this and had some influence on my curly thinking on day two – thank you x)

 

Day Three

 

More language patterns today, and learning about goal setting. We’re all wandering around at breaks making each other laugh with playing with words and, now we’ve learned them, finding it hard not to pick them up in other people’s language.  Now we’ve learned this powerful stuff, we’re not going to be able to unlearn it – as demonstrated by a fellow course mate (you know who you are)who had found it difficult not to interrupt a conversation she’d overheard in the street where someone had been using Milton Model language and the temptation to challenge it was just too much….

 

Something’s definitely shifted for me over the past couple of days. I feel like I’ve been waiting for these insights for a long, long time, and today I can’t stop smiling!

 

Day Four

 

I felt a bit wobbly during day four when exploring some of my reactions to certain things.  You know those beliefs  you just carry around with you, that don’t quite serve you but they’ve been around so long they’re just like old friends…. It’s a bit like that old baggy comfy jumper with a few holes in it that  you just can’t face throwing out because of its emotional attachment – well thanks to some well-timed intervention from a course mate who stepped up to the challenge and Neal, I’ve not just thrown out that jumper but I’ve had a flipping huge wardrobe clear out ready for some new, colourful clothing (for colourful clothing read  new, resourceful beliefs).

 

If you haven’t discovered anchors yet you don’t know what you’re missing!  Following a demo session with Ben I was able to clear out a few more ‘no longer required’ beliefs. My wardrobe, so to speak, is well and truly ready and waiting for me to fill it with exactly what I choose.  

 

 

A week later

 

I’ve been a Me that I really like this week. I’ve anchored, paced, led, Milton and Meta Modelled, chunked and pre-supposed, easily and naturally – with great results. I knew something had changed when I discovered myself driving to work on Monday morning, on the A66, with a big and important day ahead, pressing my knee to activate an anchor and grinning my head off. My apologies to the lorry driver whose eye I caught who must have thought I was quite mad. My NLP cup overfloweth.

 

I’m not suggesting that you should rush out straight away and register for the NLP Practitioner training, unless you’re ready to learn, grow, and be amazing. It’s really, very, very good. Come on in, the water’s lovely!

And that it’s more than five months since I’ve had the Practitioner course CDs in my possession. I’ve finally finished listening to all 40 hours - I started off listening to them all the time in my car but a change of car meant I had no ipod connection in my new one and a change of job has meant little in the way of spare thinking time! I got back on track after making the brilliant connection that using some of the techniques I’d learned from the CDs might help with the birth pains of said new job - indeed exploring submodalities has managed to bring some brightness back into that side of things and have started asking ‘for what purpose?’ and ‘who, or what, specifically’, both of myself, and of people I work with, with fab results.

Towards the end of the CDs I started to feel ready for the course - ready to ‘have a go’ at some of the techniques, and fill some gaps in my knowledge where I hadn’t quite grasped the idea from just listening to the CDs on my own. I’d always thought I wasn’t visual (funny, that) but found wanting to see some pictures to illustrate a few concepts, did a few internet searches on one or two concepts, and am really, really looking forward to the course next weekend. If I hadn’t learned so much about doing things for the first time and learning from the CDs, I might be in danger of being a little nervous - but as it happens the pre-course study has prepared me well for turning up with an open mind, a positive ‘have a go’ attitude and ready to learn. See you next week!

The February Ericksonian Hypnosis training was a great success with much laughter and people taking the trance to learn more about their unconscious minds…………………

Another 8 people successfully completed the Sugar Introductory Certificate in NLP. Comments below……………..

Happy New Year!

I took advantage of the festive break to start listening to the supporting CDs for the Practitioner Training that Ben sent just before Christmas. I started listening to them on my laptop as they’re MP3 files - now I’ve loaded them to my iPod so I can listen to them when I like. They’re really engaging with lots of thought provoking material so really need full attention, so I’ve made sure I can listen to them when I can really relax and engage with the material.  I’ve got my other half involved with some of the practical bits too -  so I can look for changes in his face and body language that might give clues to what his unconscious mind is up to (he thinks I’ve lost the plot).

 I’ve already started to take more notice of what my senses are picking up, when communicating with others. I’m finding it quite tricky to remember to do it - getting involved with the conversation rather than taking note of all the non verbal clues they’re giving me. It’s getting easier though, and I’ll keep practising!

There’s a lot of information on the CDs - however they are delivered in an easy, friendly, informal way, and in bite sized pieces so it’s easy to do a little and often, rather than tackling the whole lot at once. Luckily I have until my Practitioner Training begins in May to absorb the material - and I’m sure it’ll be useful to have an understanding of some of the key concepts. So far, I’ve found the material compelling and exciting, and am still really keen to keep learning!  Based on my experience so far, I’d definitely recommend learning NLP this way. As I work through the CDs I’ll post updates so that if you’re reading this when considering going for Practitioner training, you’ll have an idea of what treats are coming your way!

Milton H. Erickson, M.D. (1902-80) was a psychiatrist and hypnotherapist practising in Arizona, Phoenix, USA. Milton Erickson is considered the father of modern hypnotherapy and is generally acknowledged as one of the most important contributors to the field of hypnotherapy.  The approach he used, now called Ericksonian hypnotherapy, is one of the fastest growing and influential branches of hypnosis today.

The Life of Milton Erickson

Erickson was born in a pioneering and rural farming family in 1902. The education that he and many of his brothers and sisters received was basic and it went unnoticed that the young Milton experienced the world in a rather unique manner: he was tone deaf, colour blind and slightly dyslexic.

Erickson was first affected by polio at the age of 19 (he was affected by it again in later years too), and had his first experience of self-hypnosis by curing his disabled body.  While he was recovering Milton kept his active and keen mind occupied by playing mental games with himself. He learned to notice the difference between his family’s verbal and non-verbal communications. He noticed that sometimes people would say “no” with their mouth while their body was clearly saying “yes.”

His parents, who took care of him as best they could, fashioned a crude potty for him and left him strapped into his chair for hours. He was sitting somewhere in the middle of the room, looking longingly at the window, wishing he could be near it so that he could see what was happening outside. As he sat there, seemingly immobile, intensely wishing and imagining being outside playing, the chair began to rock slightly. This excited him greatly and he attempted to make it happen again. He gave himself direct commands: “Move legs! Rock the chair!” Nothing happened. Finally he gave up, sank back into his daydreams, and once more imagined playing outside. Again the chair began to rock! It was the indirect suggestion, that vivid imagining, that produced a response. Using this discovery, over the following two years, Milton taught himself to walk again (aided in the task by closely watching his baby sister who was only then learning to walk), and closely observed how human beings communicate and how the unconscious mind works. Thus one of the hallmarks of Ericksonian hypnotherapy was born: indirect suggestion.

 

What makes the Ericksonian Hypnosis approach so special (compared to other forms of hypnosis)?

Erickson said, “everyone is as unique as their own thumb print” and he believed in working with each client individually. In his practice, he tailored every intervention to a client’s individual needs and perceptual bias. He believed in the wisdom of the unconscious mind, and in the theory that people have all the resources necessary to make changes inside themselves. He believed that the job of the therapist is to help the client re-establish his/her connection with his/her inner resources and to develop a rapport between the conscious and the unconscious mind. One of Erickson’s famous quotes was that “patients are patients because they are out of rapport with their unconscious minds”.

 

Erickson and Storytelling

Erickson was known for his use of metaphor and storytelling, both to induce trance and for therapeutic purposes. He famously told stories about the natural world and, in particular, his stories about tomato plants are often recounted. Talking to a group of psychiatrists Erickson told the following story.

“I was returning from high school one day and a runaway horse galloped past a group of us into a farmer’s yard, looking for a drink of water. The farmer didn’t recognize it so I jumped up to the horse’s back, took hold of the reins, said “Giddy-up” and headed for the highway. I was sure the horse would take me to the right direction even though I didn’t know what the right direction was. And the horse trotted and galloped along. Now and then he would forget he was on the highway and would wander into a field. So I would pull on him a bit and call his attention to the fact that the highway was where he was supposed to be. And finally about four miles from where I had met him he turned into a farmyard”

Incidentally, Erickson would often punctuate his stories with other anecdotes and he would sometimes even tell stories within other stories.  Often, Erickson didn’t use a formal trance induction. Instead he told stories that had a deeper meaning. Sometimes that meaning was clear, many times it was not (well certainly not to the person’s conscious mind). For example, a twelve-year-old boy was brought in to see Erickson about bedwetting. Erickson dismissed his parents and began talking to the boy about other topics, avoiding a direct discussion about bedwetting altogether. Upon learning that the boy played baseball and his brother football, Erickson elaborated on the fine muscle coordination it takes to play baseball, compared to the uncoordinated muscle skills used in football. The boy listened raptly as Erickson described in fine detail all the muscle adjustments his body automatically makes in order to position him underneath the ball and catch it: the glove has to be opened at just the right moment and clamped down again at just the right moment. When transferring the ball to another hand, the same kind of fine muscle control is needed.

Another of Erickson’s famous quotes was, “You can pretend anything and master it” – he really believed that people had all the resources they needed and that any problem contained within it the solution. As you’re reading this now then you you may not realise just how many possibilities there you have within you until you actually STOP………… and consider this…………………….

Meanwhile, with the boy, Erickson continued saying that when throwing the ball to the infield, if one lets go too soon, it doesn’t go where one wants it to go. Likewise letting go too late leads to an undesired outcome and consequently to frustration. Erickson explained that letting go just at the right time gets it to go where one wants it to go, and that constitutes success in baseball. Therapy with this young man consisted of four sessions that included talks about other sports, boy scouts, and muscles. But bedwetting was not discussed, and “formal hypnosis” was not conducted. The boy’s bedwetting disappeared soon thereafter.

We don’t know if Erickson told that story to the psychiatrists or whether he told other ones. Certainly, when he returned to the story about the horse he completed it, saying: and as the horse turned into the farmyard, the farmer said, “you’ve brought my horse back, where did you find him?” I said, “about four miles from here.” “How did you know he should come here?” I said, “I didn’t know, the horse knew. All I did was keep his attention on the road.” Erickson added, “I think that is how you do psychotherapy.”
 

Erickson’s Influence today

The hypnotic techniques and life of Milton Erickson have been well documented by a number of authors and Erickson heavily influenced John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of NLP.  Gregory Bateson is said to have suggested to Grinder and Bandler, that they visit Erickson and learn from him and after modelling Erickson they published several books to teach others the results of their modelling.

Here’s my NLP story and how I was drawn to Sugar.

I was always interested in how we think and process information and with a background in psychology and learning and development, I had crossed paths with NLP over the past decade, without getting round to experiencing it first hand.  A previous work colleague who was a Master Practitioner had been a really positive influence on me, and I had subscribed to a number of NLP sites which drip fed me information about the discipline.  So, whilst I knew a little about ‘anchoring’ and ‘states’ – I felt I was scratching the surface of the mountain of knowledge that is NLP and didn’t know or understand enough to fully integrate it into my life. Following a decision to be more focused in my goal setting this year, I created a ‘goals board’. I had found the Sugar website after googling for a local NLP training provider, and was inspired by it to pin details of Sugar’s NLP Practitioner course for Summer 2008 to my board. I was delighted when Neal and Ben offered me the opportunity to take up a Partnership place on the very same course – so it looks as though I’m well on my way to achieving my NLP goal!  

So – pre-training  - I’m feeling enthusiastic and eagerly awaiting the course next year – now that I’m booked onto it I find myself noticing more details about my communication with others – where they look when they’re talking or remembering things, what language they’re using, can I pick up any cues about what their unconscious mind is telling me. I want to be the best communicator I can – and I’m looking forward to finding out how Sugar’s NLP Practitioner training will help me do that.

Jacqui is taking the  Sugar NLP Practitioner training starting in 2008 (8th - 11th May, 31st May - 2nd June and 19th - 22nd June) -for more information visit www.sugarnlp.co.uk